(Submitted in partial fulfillment of a certificate course
in Urban Linguistics. )
Mtaa Polytechnic- Ask for plumber
The yuppie looked me in the eye. Potash isn't street Philosophy an oxymoron? Maybe. Philein Sophia has to remain the priviledge of mabepari and denizens of ivory towers. The literati.
Potash, I charge thee stick to the Picaresque Narrative. It befits your proletarian idealism, Robin Hood.
Did I mention I speak fluent sheng?
"Sheng is bad news for those interested in upward mobility"
Upward? I can only go as far up as the marijuana-smoke ceiling. The literati? The last thing I read was the label on the can of Napshizzle.
The next day. Digolos. Rock-O, gaffs...nini...nini...
The lawyer she look me in the glazed eye. Potash your english is evidence of good schooling.
Ofcourse it is. Education cannot be imparted in the vulgar tongue of the native. Shenzi type.
My parents were brought up on Shakespeare and the bible. The Shakespeare just incase assimilation, of the Kaffir, could be achieved but the bible mostly to tame the heathen- you cannot sjambok a vodoo priest quoth the Native Commissioner. No limey.No.
I was brough up on Shakespeare and the Bible.
...Perpetuated in the Nyayo Philosophy of Peace, Love and Ngugi Anathema.
The bible because we are a Christian Nation. Duh. It is a mark of civilisation. And Shakespeare because it didn't mirror our rotten society/ government. See we couldn't understand Shakespeare anyway.
8-4- 4 was meant to turn us into carpenters, like Christ's terrestrial daddy. Not Taban Liyong's Intellectual- intelligentsia- convertibles.
But we all couldn't be carpenters... and you still wonder why I am angry at the system?
"Sheng is mostly a stealth language that promotes defiance of authoritative figures."
Study skills- Grammar
They taught me to use Roget's Thesaurus, Oxford English Dictionary.
Synonym Vs. Antonym
Synonyms: words with similar meaning; Exempli Gratia: Kumanga, Kusosi, Kudema.
Verb: Action/ doing word: Eat, Kula, Manga
Object: Refers to person or thing that is affected by the action of the verb: To eat food, kula chakula, Kumanga dish.
In English if you say "to eat" "...one doesnt know what one is eating"
Question tag: Knowest he?
Logic 101: Fallacy of the uneven middle term.
"There is no standard sheng spoken anywhere" Indeed. Neither is there such spoken English. Cockney!
American Vs. British; Kibich Vs. Ololo.
Or maybe they banned colloquialism and we never got to know about it down here. Hope they can bring the edict down here next time they jump into their relief food truck.
In the meantime to use synonyms to suggest lack of standardised sheng is to me the fallacious grandstanding of an individual who in light of his peculiar, bigoted and ill-informed view of the subject, applies technical terms arbitrarily and consequently brings disrepute to the study of linguistics and the so called 'objectivity' of journalism.
Ngeli ya KI: VI:
Niko mtaani nawaka na supuu wa Karen. Walai! Dolli soap soapu.
(She tipsy. Changaa in a boti. Pseudo- vodoski. Easy vibe. "I penda you". In Vino Veritas
On TV, the President. Kuna vile amejienjoy. Kujienjoy doesn't mean to have a good time in my 'hood or any other that I know of!
The president doesn't speak sheng unless his is so dated I cannot figure it out. Retro Makerere?
Two national exams. Straight A's in English. A near perfect score in TOEFL and SAT. I can teach the house of windsor their conjugation- if they can find time in between extra- conjugal trysts.
I decline English and the Latin Equivalent
(Haiya, mpaka I can tell complex mazungu jokes, remember George Eliott; The Mill on The Floss: "what will you declie, roast beef or the Latin equivalent?... ha!ha!ha!)
But how, pray tell does that help me hawk bananas in Gikomba?
The Gigiri crowd can write their high- brow papers in UN Languages trying to change the world, but the world they want to change speaks in the vulgar "...sheng... cop-out of good grammar and academic rigour... linguistic garbage- a non- language that has no stable syntax, no form, no structure and no rules of grammar.
Mwaura ends: "What rubbish!"
Prezzo ends: "Hii ni upumbavu...!"
Vox Populi: "Puba... labda ujijazie asa po!
Sheng is a Secret Code for Deviance;
The Saturday Nation, April 8th 2006