The only reason I live beyond my means is because I will die before my time. I am not saying that there is an appointed time for dying. That we live our lives then say our Adieus when that moment comes. No. All I know is that I am going to die some day. Well, maybe.
See, I believe that human beings live, then they die...that is an immutable fact. The whole predestination, and things is a charade to keep deities in gainful employment. And deities- gods, the Fate Sisters, and other usurpers to related thrones- do not cut it with me. Infact, my greatest interest in their kind,lately is borne of jealousy. (Ambition is more like it). I have spent my last couple of non- working days trying to find God. The only place worth finding him, I have discovered is me. I want to be a god.
Now, I am looking at templates of the gods. There is the Christian variety who cannot make up his mind- he is a father and thus a he- whether he is one in essence, or in substance. An elusive deity modelled in the lines, and is, indeed, a spoof- maybe with powerfoam, CG efxs (remember the day of pentecost?) and more gizmoes- of the older, fire- and- brimstone- Yahweh.
To Be continued.....
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2 comments:
I was once where you were a few years ago.I refused to be a pawn of a God who put me on earth to be a cheerleader to him and to be his pawn in a spiritual war.I refused to be a pawn of a god who is used time and again to justify the spilling of blood and taking money from the poor and sick in exchange for miracles.I refuse to be subject to a god who chose others only after his original chosen ones shunned him.I refuse organised religion that says a God without form must be worshipped a certain way.There are many things I have refused about the accepted order far too many to type here.I am sure the path will become clearer for you with time....
Uhm...Aco. Atleast the road to self discovery is the way to God. It is my theory but maybe it can hold true for others. I am not an atheist, I do not even know what that term means; but just like you I do not believe in a God someone else scripted.
@Keguro. Well, it is interesting that you understand the things I write about, including the underlying currents..the unwritten words, the incompleteness. That really is where the story is. My life is incomplete, our lives are incomplete. We can never always fit within the templates of the gods or the conformity that society throws our way. But we can try, I always try.
Njeri,thanks for passing by. You deleted your other comment, it was alright,,,
To read my blog is to understand me. It is not about converting others to my way, just telling my story. You said you intend to return here if I keep this up, well. I am under pressure to go mainstream. They want me to sell my soul for two thousand bob writing what the editors want. Maybe I will, I have to afford my next beer... But if I do I will be selling copy and not telling truths. My truths.
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